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This article ran in a local newspaper a few weeks back:

Americans Run Slow, Shame Nation
By Mwadime Mukweha - Associated Press|AP - Mon, Oct 24, 2011

VOI, Kenya (AP) – Four American foreigners brought shame upon their nation by attempting to compete against Kenyan athletes in the Madoka Half Marathon held in Ngerenyi last weekend. Officials are still unclear about what exactly drew the Americans to the annual event which pulls top runners from all over Kenya and what exactly they were hoping to accomplish.

A debased American runner crosses the finish line.

Starting at an abashingly slow “pace” the four “competitors” started and finished well out of first place. Although the Americans were not the last to finish the race, it was assumed by all present that the Kenyan competitors who followed the Americans across the finish line were deliberately running slowly so as they might be able to render first aid or help to carry the foreigners should they have collapsed during the race. Had a press conference been scheduled a spokesperson from the American embassy would have probably expressed humiliation over the loss of face performance turned in by the four shamefaced American runners.

For many of the spectators present this was a first and incredibly disappointing opportunity to witness American “athletes” in action. “We knew they were slow, but we did not know they were this slow,” said one observer who spoke on the condition of anonymity given the embarrassment he felt on behalf of the naturally ungifted runners.

At the moment it is unclear why the foreigners performed so poorly, though there is speculation that they were likely slowed to some degree by the exorbitantly large sums of money they were assumed to have been carrying on their person during the race.

While the Americans did their best to conceal their dishonor by trying to appear as though they were “having a good time” and were content merely to participate their sub-par performance will be remembered among all those present for years to come.

The 4 disgraced American runners do their best to mask their discomposure with smiles.