The P word

Packing. Few spoken sounds are capable of invoking the tsunami of negative feelings associated with this 7 letter word. A rich coffee house style blend of dread, panic, loathing, and everything in between has been known pollute one's emotional palette in between the cold sweats and fits of nausea experienced when the sickness inducing P word is smeared painfully across one's ear drums like the most caustic of substances. If there is any issue that humans (along with most species of primate) are able to agree upon unanimously it is that the dreadful P word epitomizes the least enjoyable aspects of the human experience and should be avoided at all costs. Every member of every hunter gatherer tribe throughout history has silently sworn under their breath at least once upon the first hinting that their food source was preparing to migrate. Even the most avid travellers have considered just staying home to brush up on their algebra, get started on that novel, or finally solve that Rubik's cube without taking off the stickers rather than embarking on some life altering experience with that nasty P word as a prerequisite. Some societies have even proposed the P word as a means of punishment reserved the worst of crimes against society, but none to date has been so cruel as to enforce such a vile disciplinary action.

Less than a week to go and I find myself unavoidably face to face with the "I don't wanna" inducing P word. While my frequent travels have helped me cultivate some degree of tolerance to the sometimes necessary but always unappealing P word, this time is a little different. 27 months. What to bring and what to leave behind? The question weighs on my mind like a sack of festering peanuts along with the knowledge that, unlike my previous experiences, if I forget something this time I may not be able to acquire the item in country and having the item shipped from elsewhere may be impractical, if not impossible. I must balance carefully my natural tendency to travel as light as possible against the desire to bring every little item that I think I might possibly need at some point over the next 2 years. Every item deposited or withheld from my pack is a wager and, with worst case scenarios and most probable outcomes swaying the odds, I place my bets and hope for the best.

Though this latest parlay with the P word has a uniqueness not encountered during previous experiences, history tells me that some similarities are bound to arise. In every backpack, duffel bag, knapsack, or lunch box I've ever had a hand in packing, a few categorical items have unfaltering made appearances that the entire city of Greenwich can set it's clocks to. While the exact items themselves are ever changing and unpredictable, the nature of these items remains laughably constant. In an effort to make this blog more interactive, I've posted 3 of these item categories below along with my best guess as to which item will most closely match the category criteria during the next 2 years. I encourage you to make your own lists and, if any lucky fan is able to correctly guess all 3 items, I will personally come to the winner's hometown for a chance to have your photograph taken with me, sharing a glorious high five.

1. The item which, despite being incredibly difficult to pack, was not used once. Not only was the item not used, but at no time during the trip did a single instance where use of the item would have been even mildly appropriate arise.

My pick: Swiss fondue set.

2. The item which was packed in mass quantities in anticipation of not being able to acquire in country when, in fact, the item is available pretty much everywhere in country at rock bottom prices that would make Wal-Mart's head spin.

My pick: Pokemon card collection.

3. The incredibly useful item which was most certainly packed, however, rummaging through every backpack compartment, no matter how likely or unlikely it is to contain the much sought after item, reveals that the item cannot be found and was probably never packed in the first place. Only upon repacking in preparation for the return home at the end of the long and arduous journey is the "would have been great to have" item found in the most conspicuous of locations.

My pick: Shoes.

If you decide to share your pick on this blog, please remember to keep it family friendly as the world's children look to this blog as a beacon of inspiration for their future endeavors and, you know, we should be setting a good example and all.